Backstabber Gets Backing!

What a Trump endorsement of Bill Cassidy might sound like

Oct 08, 2025

Working to better La. with Trump’s agenda Aug. 29 marked 20 years since Hurricane Katrina devastated Louisiana. I was a doctor, teaching medical students and treating patients in the LSU public hospital system. Louisianans lost homes, schools, hospitals and hope. Where government failed, neighbors stepped up. Volunteers cared for families as we turned an abandoned Kmart into a hospital, while communities across the state sheltered the homeless. Afterward, many asked: Could Louisiana do better? I ran for office to make our state safer, stronger and prosperous. These are still my goals. In Congress, I secured billions to strengthen levees, restore the coastline and rebuild roads. To protect Louisiana families, President Donald Trump signed my HALT Fentanyl Act to stop deadly drugs from flooding our communities. To create prosperity, President Donald Trump and I passed the Big Beautiful Bill. We made America energy dominant again, supporting oil and gas, because Louisiana is an energy state. When Louisiana powers the world, we create thousands of jobs. As a doctor, I know prosperity also means lowering health care costs. President Trump signed my No Surprises Act, preventing over one million surprise medical bills monthly. He also signed a bill I co-authored eliminating gag clauses on pharmacists, allowing them to tell patients how to get lower-cost medicines. A safer America means stronger borders, defending life and protecting common-sense values. As a committee chairman, I’ve fought the far-left’s radical transgender ideology in schools. I care about results. Louisiana is safer, more secure and more prosperous than 20 years ago. I’ve contributed by showing up, listening and working behind the scenes. That same drive took me to Kmart in 2005 and guides me in the Senate. I’m proud of what President Trump and I’ve delivered. Together, we’ll keep working and winning for a stronger Louisiana. SEN. BILL CASSIDY Baton Rouge

After the Baton Rouge Advocate published this letter by U.S. Sen. Bill Cassidy on Wednesday, President Donald Trump graciously issued the following endorsement of Cassidy. It appears that all of Cassidy’s groveling and humiliation of the past eight months has finally paid off.

Statement by Donald J. Trump

47th President of the United States of America

I am very pleased—and some people are very surprised, believe me — to endorse Senator Bill Cassidy for re-election. Yes, that Bill Cassidy. The one who voted to impeach your favorite President! Remember that? I remember that. Everybody remembers that. But I’m a BIG man—maybe the biggest—and I believe in forgiveness.

Bill came to me—not literally on his knees, but it was close—and he said, “Mr. President, I made a bad mistake.” And I said, “Bill, you sure did!” But I also said, “Bill, you can make it right.” And now he’s been trying, folks, he’s been trying very hard ever since. Some say it's too late, but I’m a gracious guy. VERY gracious.

He’s now promising to vote the right way—the Trump way—on everything. Including helping my friend RFK Jr. stop the dangerous vaccines that we shouldn’t be giving to the little kids. (SO MUCH LIQUID!)

But Bill’s learned his lesson. When you betray Trump, you don’t get invited back to Mar-a-Lago too quickly. But he’s done the full Cassidy Crawl, and some people are telling me he’s changed. Maybe he has, maybe he hasn’t. We’ll see what happens!

Louisiana needs strong people who won’t stab their president in the back—and while Bill did that once, maybe twice—he’s told me he won’t do it again. Says he’s “Trump tough” now. I’m not totally convinced, but we’ll find out when the votes come in.

So I’m giving Bill my complete and total conditional forgiveness—VERY conditional—and my tremendous endorsement, which is worth more than gold. Remember, he did some terrible, unforgivable things, but he’s saying nice things about me now, and that’s important.

So go out and vote for Bill Cassidy, the senator who learned the hard way that you can’t win without Trump. He was bad—VERY bad—but now, maybe, he’s good again. We’ll see what happens!

Just in case there’s any confusion, the Trump statement is a parody. (Or, is it? I guess we’ll see what happens.)

Something Like the Truth: By Robert Mann

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